No Good and Pitiful

I had a little meltdown today. I felt like I didn't know how or what to paint, and that the well had run dry. I felt bad and didn't think anyone would want to hear about it either. After feeling sorry for myself for a while, I decided I was the only one who could help me. I buckled down to observe what thoughts were going through my head. I realized that I was thinking I was not good enough, not talented enough....no wonder I felt so terrible.


So I decided to look these tricksters, who wanted to keep me from painting, straight in the eyes. I asked them curiously and politely "How do you do?" and "Who are you?" One of them actually stepped forward and proudly said, I am "No Good." She boasted that she had a foolproof method: she can always prove she's "No Good" because someone is always better. Then "Pitiful" came over and sat down right next to her best friend "No Good." In fact, she wanted to be my best friend too. She tried to convince me that feeling "No Good" was downright "Pitiful" and that I should be friends with them both. I might have gone along with "No Good" and "Pitiful" .....their stories sounded so true..... but I didn't want to meet "Defeat." They adored "Defeat," and always rolled out the red carpet to greet her.


So, I decided that being "Good" wasn't required. All that was required was to play. I walked out of their living room and into My Playroom. I invited "No Good" and "Pitiful" to play, but "No Good" said she wasn't any good at playing and "Pitiful" didn't like all the bright colors. They sat around, hoping I would get tired of playing. After a while, I was so busy playing, I didn't notice them anymore.

There I was painting, but just for play. I decided not to care how it turned out this time. I found a photo that I felt inspired to paint. I sketched and painted quickly and with bold strokes. Since I am going to California next week, I used my new travel set of paints so I could see how the little pan paints worked. I was glad to find out that they work and that I will need to take along some larger brushes. It was fun. And my painting was actually "Good." If "No Good" and "Pitiful" show up again, I will recognize them. Maybe I can get them to play with me next time.